Hi Fleur, thanks for sharing your thoughts and question.
I think the real test in navigating relationships is knowing the difference between relationships which are hard versus when/if relationships have crossed the line into being harmful.
Hers is my personal personal perspective:
If a relationship has just “died” the first step I would take is assessing where that relationship stood before it died - was it nurturing, neutral or harmful?
Step two would be assessing the significance of the relationship - is it a parent, sibling, grandparent for example - where the relationship link is familial or multi/ generational.
Step three would be assessing what it will take and what it would mean to revive the relationship.
Sometimes the harmful relationship aren’t obvious to us because the harm being done is like death by a thousand cuts, sometimes the harm is very obvious.
Anytime a relationships become truly harmful then we need to break free from them. If the relationship died because of this - then proceed very cautiously. Being In harmful relationships are dangerous and detrimental to your wellbeing in every possible way.
If the relationship is one you reflect on fondly or miss by all means - revive it, even if it feels like it could be a lot of work because every relationship takes work to maintain and the second attempt at the relationship could delight and surprise you.
I hope that helps in some small way and as always take care of yourself and those around you.
I love your writing, thank you!
One question though. What do you think about people just staying too long in relationships that have died?
Maybe i missed it, but what about taking the leap of faith when its just not there anymore?
Hi Fleur, thanks for sharing your thoughts and question.
I think the real test in navigating relationships is knowing the difference between relationships which are hard versus when/if relationships have crossed the line into being harmful.
Hers is my personal personal perspective:
If a relationship has just “died” the first step I would take is assessing where that relationship stood before it died - was it nurturing, neutral or harmful?
Step two would be assessing the significance of the relationship - is it a parent, sibling, grandparent for example - where the relationship link is familial or multi/ generational.
Step three would be assessing what it will take and what it would mean to revive the relationship.
Sometimes the harmful relationship aren’t obvious to us because the harm being done is like death by a thousand cuts, sometimes the harm is very obvious.
Anytime a relationships become truly harmful then we need to break free from them. If the relationship died because of this - then proceed very cautiously. Being In harmful relationships are dangerous and detrimental to your wellbeing in every possible way.
If the relationship is one you reflect on fondly or miss by all means - revive it, even if it feels like it could be a lot of work because every relationship takes work to maintain and the second attempt at the relationship could delight and surprise you.
I hope that helps in some small way and as always take care of yourself and those around you.