This is a great article and I think I resonate with the significance of the month of Ramadan. But I suffer with a great deal of anxiety and guilt during this month and I would like to know if you can help me understand a couple of these points.
1. The guilt is my bulletproof routine is now all I can't read as many books. I can't focus on my knowledge-based skills, coding and development or any deep work because of lack of sleep and hydration. Instead, I use that low energy to actually consume useless videos and movies. This happens in every Ramadan.
2. The guilt of not being able to follow the Ramadan with 100% diligence for what it meant to be. I keep all the fasts but I'm not able to take part in my community mosque as much as I should and I'm not able to focus on the spiritual side of things the way I could when I was a kid growing up in Pakistan. As you can see, there are two aspects of the guilt—the everyday overachiever guilt of not achieving and doing enough, and then the ability to spiritually immerse myself to benefit from Ramadan (as you mention in your article).
I still have 9 days left. I would highly appreciate any pointers to resolve this or move forward in a better direction. Thank you.
I hear you. When you are working full time, have demanding deadlines, a family, and are fasting the fatigue and the mental fog are real.
The best advice I can give you is that to pull it off - it takes some planning. Here are some of the ways I have managed
1. Plan time off from work—allocate at least one week longer if you can. One year, I took every Friday off, which allowed me to do Taraweeh on Thursday Night and Friday night without having to wake up and go to work the next day. Another year, I took the last week of Ramadan off and the day of Eid. Another year, I strategically took two weeks off and took my family to a Muslim country for Ramadan- this was an amazing experience. In essence, use your PTO strategically to maximize the month's benefit.
2. Stack content you want to consume during Ramadan -- I have a list of religious books, videos, and tutorials that I save throughout the year- because I dont have time and I then consume that material during Ramadan. If you need low-brain energy material, there is a plethora of youtube series for Ramadan, and my favourite is the Umar ibn al-Khattab series - it's good for the whole family and fills the heart.
3. Delete distractions- this is the atomic habit of not buying chocolate if you are on a diet. Delete and put barriers to the things that distract you. One year, I deleted Facebook from my phone; another year IG; and another year LI.
4. Plan the month with a friend or your partner - this puts social pressure to get you out of the food coma and go to the mosque or attend a communal iftar. For example, my husband has days he goes to Taraweeh, and I have mine. We have four kids, so the coordination is essential- I look forward to my days and don't want to miss them.
5. Have a pre-Ramadan brainstorming session with yourself. Set your intentions, set your goals, and focus on what is doable. Share your plan with your family and partner to create some accountability.
You can do this now for the last 9 days- make a plan that feels doable!!
Lastly, feeling guilty is a good thing; this means your heart is pulling you towards doing more. Instead of beating yourself up, lean into that voice. Focus on Big Intentions and Small, consistent actions. This is a no-fail formula. You get the reward for the big intention and can focus on the small, consistent actions.
As a bit of comfort- someone once told me that Allah swt is taking attendance- meaning He knows how many times you show up even if you fail the quiz or dont finish the exam. The fact that you show up is enough sometimes.
May Allah swt accept all our intentions and our efforts, all our attempts.
Words cannot describe the amount of gratitude I have for your response. I really appreciate the detailed response, and honestly, that is probably the most productive thing I have read which I am now working towards the whole Ramadan.
All the points are significant and # 1, 2, and 5 really resonated with me. Thanks once again, and I'll also check out the series you mentioned as well.
Beautiful piece!
This is a great article and I think I resonate with the significance of the month of Ramadan. But I suffer with a great deal of anxiety and guilt during this month and I would like to know if you can help me understand a couple of these points.
1. The guilt is my bulletproof routine is now all I can't read as many books. I can't focus on my knowledge-based skills, coding and development or any deep work because of lack of sleep and hydration. Instead, I use that low energy to actually consume useless videos and movies. This happens in every Ramadan.
2. The guilt of not being able to follow the Ramadan with 100% diligence for what it meant to be. I keep all the fasts but I'm not able to take part in my community mosque as much as I should and I'm not able to focus on the spiritual side of things the way I could when I was a kid growing up in Pakistan. As you can see, there are two aspects of the guilt—the everyday overachiever guilt of not achieving and doing enough, and then the ability to spiritually immerse myself to benefit from Ramadan (as you mention in your article).
I still have 9 days left. I would highly appreciate any pointers to resolve this or move forward in a better direction. Thank you.
Salams Mohsin,
I hear you. When you are working full time, have demanding deadlines, a family, and are fasting the fatigue and the mental fog are real.
The best advice I can give you is that to pull it off - it takes some planning. Here are some of the ways I have managed
1. Plan time off from work—allocate at least one week longer if you can. One year, I took every Friday off, which allowed me to do Taraweeh on Thursday Night and Friday night without having to wake up and go to work the next day. Another year, I took the last week of Ramadan off and the day of Eid. Another year, I strategically took two weeks off and took my family to a Muslim country for Ramadan- this was an amazing experience. In essence, use your PTO strategically to maximize the month's benefit.
2. Stack content you want to consume during Ramadan -- I have a list of religious books, videos, and tutorials that I save throughout the year- because I dont have time and I then consume that material during Ramadan. If you need low-brain energy material, there is a plethora of youtube series for Ramadan, and my favourite is the Umar ibn al-Khattab series - it's good for the whole family and fills the heart.
3. Delete distractions- this is the atomic habit of not buying chocolate if you are on a diet. Delete and put barriers to the things that distract you. One year, I deleted Facebook from my phone; another year IG; and another year LI.
4. Plan the month with a friend or your partner - this puts social pressure to get you out of the food coma and go to the mosque or attend a communal iftar. For example, my husband has days he goes to Taraweeh, and I have mine. We have four kids, so the coordination is essential- I look forward to my days and don't want to miss them.
5. Have a pre-Ramadan brainstorming session with yourself. Set your intentions, set your goals, and focus on what is doable. Share your plan with your family and partner to create some accountability.
You can do this now for the last 9 days- make a plan that feels doable!!
Lastly, feeling guilty is a good thing; this means your heart is pulling you towards doing more. Instead of beating yourself up, lean into that voice. Focus on Big Intentions and Small, consistent actions. This is a no-fail formula. You get the reward for the big intention and can focus on the small, consistent actions.
As a bit of comfort- someone once told me that Allah swt is taking attendance- meaning He knows how many times you show up even if you fail the quiz or dont finish the exam. The fact that you show up is enough sometimes.
May Allah swt accept all our intentions and our efforts, all our attempts.
Words cannot describe the amount of gratitude I have for your response. I really appreciate the detailed response, and honestly, that is probably the most productive thing I have read which I am now working towards the whole Ramadan.
All the points are significant and # 1, 2, and 5 really resonated with me. Thanks once again, and I'll also check out the series you mentioned as well.