The Case for Personal Development Beyond Work: A Journey of Growth and Reflection

How embracing holistic development and deep contemplation can elevate every role you play—partner, parent, friend, and leader

Dec 30, 2024

Success is never a straight line. There are no highs without lows, no wins without losses, and often no real gratitude without hardship. Life's inevitable ups and downs remind us that hindsight is 20/20. It's in the quiet moments of retrospective reflection that real learning and growth occur.

While annual strategy sessions, OKR (Objectives and Key Results) frameworks, and business goal-setting have become staples in the corporate world, how many of us bring that same rigor to our personal lives? The truth is, most people don’t have a development plan, and if they do, it’s often because someone in HR handed them a form and told them to fill it out.

Beyond the Form

Why is creating a personal development plan so difficult? Because it demands vulnerability and honesty. It requires someone to self-reflect, self-diagnose, and, in a sense, self-prescribe solutions to challenges. If these tasks were simple, we wouldn’t have a multi-billion-dollar self-help industry, or the need for coaches, therapists, and mentors. Growth is hard, uncomfortably so, which is precisely why it’s so important.

The practice of introspection and personal growth is much like a muscle: it strengthens with consistent use but atrophies without it. Leaders, in particular, have a unique responsibility to engage in this work. After all, you can’t inspire transformation in others if you’re unwilling to embark on your own journey of self-improvement.

So, as we approach another season of end of year reflections and goal-setting, consider this:

What would happen if you approached your personal development with the same discipline and commitment as you do your business strategy?

My “Personal”/ Work Development Plan Journey

You might have guessed it- I have always had a development plan, I honestly can’t remember when I didn’t. I have even taught my kids how to make one. When my son was just seven years old I did his first development plan with him. His goal was to become a ninja, so we discussed the skills he needed to be a great ninja. He identified that he needed to know how to fight, ride a horse and use a sword. Shortly after I enrolled him in karate, horseback riding and fencing according to his development plan and he amazingly continued with those hobbies for quite some time. The development plan he created was a personal compass for what he wanted to become. Even though, he never became a ninja - well not officially, the process showed him that he could grow and develop even if the end goal was never achieved.

I have always considered development plans a form of compass, a GPS for how to grow. Additionally, I reflect on the development journey itself, I have kept most of my development plans and look back at them with an odd satisfaction.

When you can see personal growth, identify your before- the journey and the after- it’s like the dopamine rush of check lists on steroids.

Below I pulled out one of my development plans from over ten years ago, at the time I had taken on a new role managing an organization of over 300 people and $130M P&L.

Personal Development Plan from 2013:

For the past twenty plus years I have created plans like this- work specific development plans which I followed up with great rigor and focus. My relentless pursuit of professional growth even led me to earn a master’s degree in Industrial and Organizational Behavior because I was obsessed with how work works and how people work.

Lessons from Work-Focused Development

If your only personal development plan revolves around work, that’s a good start. Done right, professional development teaches invaluable skills. Over the years, I’ve gained expertise in areas like LEAN Six Sigma, Situational and Compassionate Leadership, Conflict and Risk Management, Emotional and Cultural Intelligence, Coaching, and Executive Presence, all valuable skills. My work focused development plans were very effective - I used them to initiate conversations, gain mentors, join circles with senior leaders and pursue development that was collectively identified as being beneficial for me and the company I was working for.

But here’s the kicker: Imagine if I had applied the same level of focus, discipline, and energy to other areas of my life—roles that are just as important as my professional one. What if I had developed myself as a partner, parent, or friend with the same intensity? This is a reflection that hit me pretty hard a little over three years ago when I admitted how little attention I had given to developing myself in other domains of my life relative to my professional development.

Three Years of Transformation

Three years ago, I made a pivotal decision to stop hiding my struggles with mental health and work-life balance. I began openly sharing my experiences and questioning deeply rooted beliefs about success, strength, and endurance.

The first phase of my transformation focused on strength—what it is and how to cultivate it. For much of my life, strength meant grit: the ability to endure, persevere, and never give up. It was my superpower, enabling me to excel in a C-suite position, raise three children, and fulfill countless other roles and responsibilities.

But over time, I realized that this “no pain, no gain” mindset was unsustainable. It was draining me, not building me up. That realization marked the beginning of my journey toward redefining strength and adopting a more sustainable approach to personal and professional growth, a journey that had me contemplate deeper, reflect more and put the “personal” into my development plan.

Lookback: My From —> To Plan to Redefine Strength from 2021

Moving Toward Sustainability

Looking back, the shift has been significant- its been the byproduct of a contemplation cycle that has changed the way I think about my growth and development.

Contemplation Cycle:

The model is quite simple- when we engage in deep contemplation it improves our knowledge, acceptance and mindsets. When our knowledge and mindset has changed our internal state (mind, heart, body, soul) is affected which then influences and effects our actions, as our actions are more aligned with a deeper sense of ourselves our state continues to improve which leads us to even deeper contemplation and a deeper understanding of ourselves which starts the virtuous cycle into motion all over again. This continuous cycle of contemplation, knowledge, an improved state and action is elevating in every way.

The Power of Reflection and Contemplation

Over the years, as I have gotten better at applying the virtuous cycle of contemplation my reflection practice has become more accurate, honest, and meaningful. An important aspect of making development plans effective is ensuring they are rooted in true reflection and contemplation.

Here are the key things I have changed:

Multi-dimensional Goals: Now I set goals and plans across the domains of my life not just work: Spiritual, Relational, Professional, Physical, Mental/Emotional, Environmental.
Compassionate Accountability: My perseverance and ability to push through challenges has been key drivers of my success. However, this trait also fuels my toxic productivity, which I’m actively working to overcome. Now, I work to balance my action bias with compassion and grace for myself.
Depth of Reflection: I’m learning to go deeper in my self-examination, which has allowed me to make real progress toward personal growth and well-being. The development is not about reaching a specific goal, position, or role. The development is linked to how I want to “Be” in the world, not what I want to “Do”. To channel my son, even if I don’t become the ninja I become healthier, kinder, more present and attentive, more adept at handling conflict etc.

If there’s one takeaway from my journey, it’s this: personal development isn’t just about professional skills or career advancement. It’s about cultivating the best version of yourself in every role you play—partner, parent, friend, and leader. To discover this better version of yourself the process starts and ends with deep contemplation which elevates your mind, body, heart and spirit and affects your actions in life.

Because at the end of the day, no success at work can compensate for a life out of balance.

Have you worked with personal or work related development plans? Do you have a model or approach that has been meaningful? Let me know your thoughts.

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