Calling All the Criers

Why it’s time to embrace your tears.

"There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness- but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues."

— Washington Irving

Over the past few weeks, I’ve found myself drawn into conversations sparked by viral social media posts featuring women crying. In one video, a woman sits in her car, overwhelmed with anxiety before her first day at a new job. Another shows a woman crying in her workplace bathroom, worn down by a toxic environment. And yet another captures a mother in tears, tormented by guilt and the impossible balancing act of work and parenting.

Every time these moments surface, they provoke an all-too-familiar reaction: dismissive comments like “suck it up,” “no pain, no gain,” or “this generation is so weak.” While these remarks are often chalked up to trolls or emotional ignorance, they reflect a broader cultural discomfort with tears—especially in the workplace.

Embarrassingly, I must admit I used to think this way too.

Early in my career, I believed that women who cried at work were doing a disservice to all women. I thought tears reinforced the damaging stereotype that women couldn’t handle the pressures of traditionally “male” roles. I even coached female colleagues, advising them that visible emotion was “career-limiting behavior.” Today, I cringe at the thought that I ever perpetuated such an idea. To anyone who may have heard this advice from me: I offer my deepest and most sincere apology.

Like many women, I was conditioned to believe that success meant conforming to workplace norms—norms that were overwhelmingly shaped by men and for men.

Workplaces were no-cry zones.

Then, I had my first child, and everything changed. After giving birth and returning from maternity leave, I could no longer control my tears.

A sentimental commercial or a kind word could set me off on a good day. I found myself crying in cars, bathrooms, and lactation rooms, desperately trying to hide my emotions. I even cried when I laughed—a phenomenon I still experience today.

At first, I was mortified. I had spent years coaching women to suppress their tears, and here I was, unable to follow my own advice. But as with many struggles I’ve faced, I turned to research for answers.

Why Women Cry More

What I learned was enlightening. First, women cry more frequently and more easily, mainly due to physiology.

Decades of research into crying have consistently proven that women cry more than men. In fact, research from the 1980s showed that women cry on average 5.3 times a month compared to men, who cry 1.3 times a month, and this number has remained relatively unchanged throughout the years.

Several factors contribute to why women cry more than men, but it's largely due to hormonal differences. When women experience hormonal fluctuations, for example, during pregnancy, postpartum, nursing, weaning, or their monthly periods, they typically have a higher level of the hormone prolactin. Prolactin influences the production of tears.

Then, there is the effect of estrogen and cortisol interactions. Estrogen can amplify emotional responses, making women more sensitive to stressors. When stress occurs, cortisol (the stress hormone) levels rise, and the combination of heightened sensitivity and hormonal surges can lead to crying as a stress response.

Does Crying Actually Help?

The second thing I learned is that whether crying has a therapeutic benefit largely depends on the context.

According to the research, When and for Whom Does Crying Improve Mood? Only about one-third of crying episodes resulted in a reported mood boost, with factors such as the social environment, emotional context, and individual personality traits playing significant roles.

The factors that contributed to a mood improvement after crying were whether the individual cried in the presence of supportive individuals, if it helped them resolve or gain a new understanding of a triggering situation, or if the crying happened during positive emotional events.

Conversely, when someone experiences crying in unsupportive environments, experiences shame or embarrassment due to crying, or sheds tears as a result of witnessing suffering, crying does not have a positive mood impact and tends to worsen mood.

Additionally, individuals who may struggle with their emotional or mental health are less likely to experience mood benefits from crying.

This nuanced perspective challenges the simplistic view of crying as inherently beneficial, suggesting that its effects depend heavily on context, social support, and individual differences.

For some, crying can provide relief and emotional regulation, but it may exacerbate distress for others.

Welcome Tears in the Workplace

Reflecting on these findings, I’ve come to accept three simple truths:

1. Crying is a natural physiological response.

2. Hormonal differences significantly influence how often and easily people cry.

3. The benefits of crying are largely determined by the level of support the crier receives.

Unfortunately, the workplace is often an unsupportive environment for tears. The stigma around crying at work reinforces outdated notions of professionalism, where emotions are equated with weakness. This is a loss for everyone—employees and organizations alike.

The workplace has an opportunity to rewrite this narrative. By normalizing emotional expression, businesses can foster cultures of empathy and understanding. Leaders can play a critical role by responding thoughtfully to employees who cry, encouraging open dialogue about stress, and promoting mental health resources.

Supporting colleagues who cry isn’t just an act of kindness; it’s a step toward building healthier, more productive teams. Research consistently shows that employees who feel valued and understood perform better and stay longer.

A Call to Action

To all my criers: the next time tears come, let them flow. And to those standing alongside a crying colleague, offer compassion. A tissue, a warm smile, or a simple “I’m here for you” can make all the difference.

Workplaces thrive when people are allowed to be fully human. It’s time we move beyond outdated ideas of professionalism and embrace the power of empathy.

Until next time, take care of yourself and those around you.

In Partnership,
Nabeela

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